Lord of the Rings:Altered
by Twilight Gurl
Summary: I guess we could blame the whole thing on Lisa. But it didn't matter who did it. because now we're fighting for our lives and Middle Earth. And only one side can win. It's a war and death comes to even the people you hold dear.............................
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own or create Lord of the Rings Characters. They are J.R.R. Tolkien's. I just added Laura, Lisa, and Courtney. 


	2. The Fellowship: Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
  
Courtney, Lisa, and I were all sitting in my room (which was also Lisa's) discussing Lord of the Rings.  
  
"Listen, all I'm saying is that I think Lord of the Rings really happened." Lisa argued.  
  
Courtney and I laughed.  
  
"Right Lisa, and we're hobbits." Courtney said.  
  
A sudden cold wind blew on my face. The sun was in my eyes. I ignored the change.  
  
"Really Lisa, Elrond is just a dude in a book and." Lisa cut me off.  
  
"Laura."  
  
"What is it Lisa?" I asked annoyed.  
  
"Does it feel like we're being watched?"  
  
We all looked up slowly to the sky, not ceiling. We looked around to see a lot of people sitting in a semi-circle with a guy standing looking in charge.  
  
"Oh. Shit. You guys, that's Elrond." I said.  
  
"What was your first clue!" Courtney spat out.  
  
"Silence." Elrond said too calmly. " Address me. Who are you, where do you come from, and what sort of wizardry is this?"  
  
"Well, I'm Laura."  
  
"And I'm Lisa."  
  
"And I'm their sidekick, Courtney!"  
  
We all smiled. No reply came. Tough crowd, I thought to myself.  
  
"Oh great Elrond," Lisa began, " We are travelers, who seek." her voice trailed off not knowing what to say. Catching her drift, Courtney said:  
  
"Your council." She finished. " May we sit and listen?"  
  
"Thanks!" I said not giving him a chance to say no.  
  
We all sat by some bushes next to a hobbit that must have been Frodo Baggins.  
  
"Easy Laura." Lisa whispered.  
  
We all sat there not paying any attention to the "blah-blahs" going on around is. I decide to start my own council.  
  
"I now call 'Laura's Council' to order." I whispered to Courtney and Lisa. They looked at me and tried not to laugh. " First order of business, how the hell did we get here?"  
  
"Don't know. The second order of business is what chapter is this?" Lisa asked.  
  
"Haven't you been listening? It's exactly like Heather's description of the council." Courtney said.  
  
"Wait, so are you telling me we're in the book?" I asked. She shrugged in return. "Okay, then what were they just talking about?"  
  
"Gondor, I think." Lisa replied. Courtney laughed softly.  
  
"So you do listen." She said.  
  
Ignoring them I said "Okay, lets speed it up a few pages." I stood up. They still kept talking. I cleared my throat.  
  
"Everyone, take a chill pill and shut up!" I yelled. Everyone turned to look at me.  
  
"You came to seek council, not give it." Elrond said.  
  
"Funny how your ambitions change." I said calmly. I was ready for whatever he said to me.  
  
"You need to learn your place!" he said strictly.  
  
"Dude, I'm a rebellious teenager. My parents can't control me!" I yelled.  
  
"You need to respect Lord Elrond!" an elf stood up and said. It was Legolas.  
  
"You need to sit down and listen boy!" I shot back. I suddenly felt like I needed to explain. "Okay, the hour grows short. You need to assemble a fellowship to take Frodo to Mordor." I stopped. Everyone was silent.  
  
"I think you said too much." Lisa whispered to me.  
  
"You think!" I said back.  
  
Frodo stood up to look at me. "I have not volunteered for that task, though my mind has been pondering on it."  
  
"Okay, so you agree with it." I said. He started to protest but Elrond stood up.  
  
"How, may I ask, did you know that I was going to suggest a fellowship?"  
  
I paused not knowing how to answer the question.  
  
"She works for the Dark Lord!" a dwarf yelled. It was Gimli  
  
I gasped. "How insulting!"  
  
"Can you prove it wrong?" he asked.  
  
And, thank God for Courtney. "If we knew about the fellowship, we could have told Sauron or Saruman. They could have cut, or killed, you off by now."  
  
They all were silent. I sided up next to Courtney.  
  
"How did you do that?"  
  
"Well, I don't really know. I basically just said stuff that made me sound smart." She answered.  
  
"Good thinking." Courtney nodded proud of herself.  
  
I sunk back to my spot on the ground in front of the bushes. I sighed.  
  
Poke.  
  
What the-  
  
Poke. Poke.  
  
Something was poking me in the back. And it was really bothering me. I turned around.  
  
"What?" I whispered into the bush. Then it dawned on me.  
  
"Sorry." A voice came back. It was Sam's voice.  
  
"Holy." I got cut off by Courtney.  
  
"Laura, are you joining the fellowship or not!"  
  
Now I was confused. Had I really missed that much?  
  
"Yeah but," I ran over and picked Sam up out of the bush, " he's coming too."  
  
Lisa and Courtney rolled their eyes whilst Elrond was yelling at Sam for coming to the secret council. Well, it wasn't really secret, I thought, I mean if I could get in, especially Lisa-  
  
"Laura," Lisa came up next to me, "How did you know that Sam was there?"  
  
I rolled my eyes. " Well, if someone was poking you in the back with a stick, you're going to notice them. Also, F.Y.I., that's where he was in the book and in the movie."  
  
"Right." She gave me two thumbs up.  
  
The council ended (Thank God) and we all got led to this one huge room with three beds.  
  
"Now I know I'm in first class." Lisa said throwing herself onto a bed.  
  
"Yeah but we still don't know why we're here, or how we're here." Courtney said matter-of-factly. I nodded in an agreement.  
  
"Hey, did anyone notice anything when we 'crossed over'?" I asked suddenly.  
  
"Wait, are you saying we're dead?" Lisa questioned from the bed.  
  
"No!" Courtney yelled. " My God, do you ever use your brain?"  
  
"No." Courtney made a weird noise from her throat in return. I laughed.  
  
"Would you just answer the question!"  
  
"No." they said simultaneously.  
  
"Why did you?" Lisa asked acting like she cared.  
  
"No." I said quickly. They would both think I was insane if I told them the truth.  
  
"Come on Laura, you can tell us the truth. We won't laugh." Lisa said beginning to sound tired.  
  
"Alright, well after Courtney said 'and we're hobbits' a cold wind was on my face, and the sun was in my eyes." I muttered.  
  
Lisa laughed. "So Courtney got us here!" she pointed accusingly.  
  
"It wasn't me!" Courtney said.  
  
"I think she's right." I said quietly.  
  
"Who, me or her!" Courtney yelled.  
  
"You."  
  
"What! So you're blaming this whole thing on me!" Lisa said waking up to what was going on.  
  
"Well, yes.um.no.I don't know. But the wind thing started when you said 'I think Lord of the Rings really happened'. It ended when Courtney said "and we're hobbits." I stated.  
  
"Yes!" Lisa jumped up.  
  
"What are you so happy about? We basically just signed up for our death march." I said gloomily.  
  
"Yeah, but if I got us here, that means I have magical powers!" she said gleefully.  
  
"Right, and we're." Courtney began to say but I cut her off.  
  
"No, do not start this up again. Right now we need to figure out a plan." I laid down onto a bed.  
  
"Yeah, I got one, don't die." Lisa said then finally rolled over and fell asleep.  
  
"She is the only one who could fall asleep at a time like this." Courtney said stepping out onto the balcony. All was silent.  
  
So Lisa is asleep, and Courtney is on the balcony. This is the quietest it's been since we've 'crossed over'.  
  
I got up off the bed and sat on the railing next to Courtney. I could see elves everywhere.  
  
"So," Courtney said breaking the silence, " what do you want to do?"  
  
"Well, at home I'd be riding my bike over your." I said looking at the mountains. Then I turned to look at her. A sly grin was on her face. " What?"  
  
"So, let's make a bike."  
  
"You're insane." I ran over to bed and began to tie sheets together.  
  
"What are you doing?"  
  
"Tying sheets together."  
  
"I see that, but why?"  
  
"See, if we rappel down the side, not that many people will see us."  
  
"So what if anyone sees us."  
  
"Yeah, but if we told elves that we were going to chop down trees, they'll kill us."  
  
"Good point."  
  
I tied the 'rope' to the balcony and began to go down. I was at the end of the rope when I realized we were about eight feet short. I looked back up to see Courtney was already climbing down.  
  
"Courtney, we have a problem!" I yelled up.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"We're about eight feet too short."  
  
"So, jump. And for the record, I was kidding when I said let's build a bike."  
  
"Yeah, well, too late to turn back. You know, saying that a little earlier would have helped!"  
  
"As long as I helped."  
  
"Get a life Courtney!"  
  
Well, it was easy for her to say jump. I jumped down when something broke my fall. Then Courtney fell beside me.  
  
"Laura," she whispered, " You're on top of someone."  
  
"I know!"  
  
"Where are you going?" the person asked as I rolled off of him.  
  
"Oh, no where." I replied quickly.  
  
"Then why were you climbing down the side of the building?"  
  
Courtney and I looked at each other. We were both thinking the same thing. Why of all people did we have to fall on an elf? They never miss a thing. Then we heard a voice coming from the balcony outside our room.  
  
"They're going to build a bike!"  
  
"I thought she was asleep!" Courtney yelled as we got up to run.  
  
"So did I!"  
  
We ran like our lives depended on it (which they probably did) because Lisa just told an elf we were going to chop down trees. How did they know bikes involved chopping down trees, don't ask me. They're elves, they know everything. Suddenly we hit two people and fell on Merry and Pippin.  
  
"Where are you two going on such a fine day?" Pippin asked.  
  
"Running." I answered.  
  
"From what?" Merry chimed in.  
  
"Trouble." Courtney answered.  
  
"Oh!" Pippin laughed. " We do that all the time!"  
  
I ran and yelled back " Do you have any advice?"  
  
"Don't get caught!" Pippin yelled.  
  
"Have a nice day!" Merry followed.  
  
"You too!" Courtney yelled but they were too far away to hear it. Courtney and I kept running into the forest, not looking back. 


	3. The Fellowship: Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
  
By the time Courtney and I found our way out of the forest and into our room Lisa had already eaten and was sitting on her bed reading a book.  
  
"My God Lisa, what are you reading now!" Courtney yelled.  
  
"There and Back Again: A Hobbit's Tale by Bilbo Baggins." She answered.  
  
Courtney opened her mouth to yell at her and there I left them in search for food.  
  
I was walking down the hallway; they must have had paintings since the beginning of time. They must have had a lot free time on their hands if they collected art.  
  
After half an hour I decided to stop and ask for directions. I had passed the same sculpture five times already and tripped over the same step twice. I knocked upon a door. I waited a good seconds when I decided to open it because no one answered it.  
  
Inside the room were two hobbit-sized people.  
  
"Um. I'm like lost and I need to find the cafeteria." I said.  
  
When the people turned around it turned out to be Bilbo and Frodo. They looked mad, no, angry would be a better way to explain it.  
  
"Sorry, wrong door." And I bolted out door.  
  
I continued to walk down the hall when a strong hand pulled me against the wall and put a hand around my neck, cutting off my breathing until I could only get in little gasps.  
  
"Tell me who you are, and who you work for." I could tell that it was Aragorn.  
  
"It's kind of hard to answer when you can't breathe." I managed to gasp.  
  
"Yes, but you could get the answer out before you faint from the lack of air. And if you choose not to answer, I could kill you here."  
  
"Nice choices." I muttered. Already my head was swirling.  
  
"Answer!" he said urgently.  
  
"Please."  
  
Just then Courtney came up from behind Aragorn and jumped up around his neck cutting off his airway. His grip lightened enough for me to suck in some air then he tightened it again. Then I saw Boromir come up behind her and put his hands around her neck.  
  
A chain reaction?  
  
My lungs burned for air. I needed air. My head was swirling.  
  
I then saw Lisa jump on Boromir and started to strangle him.  
  
Everything started to get dark but the last thing I saw was Elrond walk by and stop.  
  
Then my brain stopped working.  
I woke up to Lisa eating breakfast. Eating? Was she always eating? Then I remembered that I didn't eat since I left home.  
  
"Lisa?" I asked sitting up in the bed.  
  
"Laura! You're up! You know."  
  
"Shut up. Is that sausage?"  
  
"Yeah but."  
  
"Give me it."  
  
She got up slowly and handed it to me. "But it's my sausage."  
  
"It's probably your second anyway."  
  
Just then Courtney came in the room. "Lisa, is that your third plate of sausage?"  
  
Lisa's eyes got wide and looked from me to Courtney and back to me. "No. I've only had two since Laura took that one."  
  
I laughed. It felt good to laugh.  
  
"Well, good news everyone!" Courtney said happily. "We're moving out in two days."  
  
Lisa and I stared back.  
  
"What?" she asked.  
  
"Do you want us to die?" I asked.  
  
"No but I just."  
  
"You JUST!" Lisa yelled. "You thought that we just wanted to die!"  
  
I ignored the rest of their argument and picked up a paper and pencil on the nightstand and drew my sword that I wanted. It had my name on it and it had little doodles. Do not ask me what's with the little doodles.  
  
I named it, well, there's a lot of names I called it, including It's-All- Lisa's-Fault.  
  
"Laura, what are you drawing? We have to be preparing now that Courtney decided to speed it up a whole chapter." Lisa said.  
  
"I have to.umm.go to the bathroom." And with that I quickly left the room with no intention of going to the bathroom.  
  
I walked quickly down the hallway when I found an elf.  
  
'Yo! You, elf dude!" I yelled to him. He turned around to face me. "Yeah, you. Could you make me three swords?"  
  
"Yes, but it could take me."  
  
"Can you do it in a day and a half? I'll come back and do whatever you wish me to do. Including your errands and work, you have my word."  
  
"Consider it done. What do you wish the swords to look like?"  
  
And with that I told him the plans for three swords. One for me, one for Lisa, and one for Courtney. And while I was at it, I got three daggers made.  
  
Sure enough, just hours before we left, the elf (whose name was Finnula) gave me three eight-inch daggers in carry cases and three swords (in sheaths) just like mine except he had put our names on our swords. Great, now I had to come back. The guy put extra craftsmanship into the swords. I walked into our room.  
  
"I can't believe this, it's three hours until we leave and we don't have swords!" Lisa complained.  
  
"Not quite." I said and handed them their stuff.  
  
"You got this stuff made? Man, who trusted you enough to get this stuff made?" Courtney said with a laugh putting her sheath around her waist.  
  
"I can't believe it! We have daggers in our boots!" Lisa exclaimed. "Bringing Hollywood to Mirkwood."  
  
"Lisa we're in Rivendell, soon to be in Mordor." Courtney laughed.  
  
"Or dead." Lisa muttered. She put the dagger in her boot.  
  
We all were wearing a spin-off of jeans that were brown with a shirt type thing that was too big. It looked like it had been soaked in tea bags. Luckily, we didn't match. It was different types of brown. A cool brown, but it was defiantly not what I wanted to be wearing. The boots were the only cool thing. We put our normal clothes in our bags.  
  
"I feel like Robin Hood." I muttered sitting down on the bed.  
  
"Oh! Can I be Little John?" Lisa asked.  
  
"What can I be?" Courtney asked. She didn't care all that much. She just didn't want to think about what was going to happen.  
  
"You can be the sword! Swish, swish. Clang, clang." Lisa said happily.  
  
I laughed.  
  
Three hours later I was carrying forty pounds on my back through the mountains toward Mordor.  
  
I heard Courtney whisper, "This is going to be a long trip."  
  
Sadly, I knew it was going to be ten times longer than that. 


	4. The Fellowship: Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
  
We camped a really long time. There is no other way to explain it. Anyway, one night Lisa, Courtney, and I were sitting away from the company in our own group.  
  
"Can't we start our own fire?" Lisa complained.  
  
"No, unless you wan the bad guys to know what we're doing." Courtney said with her eyes drooping.  
  
"They're going to find out anyway." Lisa said lying down.  
  
"Not to change the subject, but I might have a flashlight." I said.  
  
"Well, when were you going to tell us!" Lisa exclaimed.  
  
"I forgot." I said regretting that I even had told that.  
  
"Convenient." Courtney said.  
  
I pulled my bag onto my lap and pulled out my mini flashlight. I turned it on and then turned it off.  
  
"At least it works." Courtney mumbled.  
  
"I charged the batteries the morning that we 'crossed over'." I said. We stopped talking I heard Aragorn talking.  
  
"I still don't know why Elrond let those three some. They came upon a secret council and do not tell us who they are and who they work for."  
  
"Yes, they also make us an unlucky twelve." I heard Gimli say.  
  
"You dwarves, I thought thirteen was unlucky." Legolas sneered.  
  
"If those girls are included in the twelve, it's unlucky." Gimli said.  
  
"Maybe Elrond knows something you do not." Gandalf said. "Perhaps they yet have a part to play. They knew of Saruman being a traitor when they came in, after I said it to the rest of you."  
  
"Still, Gandalf, they had swords made in a day and a half." Legolas pressed. "That has to be the work of wizardry."  
  
Gandalf laughed. "I met the elf who made the swords. Laura gave him the plans. She said she would return and repay him. Noble of her."  
  
The conversation between them continued but I looked at Courtney and Lisa. Apparently, they had heard the conversation too.  
  
"Well, can I say shit." Courtney whispered.  
  
"He said I'm noble." I said pretending to sniffle.  
  
"He said she was noble!" Lisa said in disbelief.  
  
"You said you would return!" Courtney yelled silently.  
  
"I'm hoping to be home in a week." I muttered.  
  
"You're an idiot." She continued.  
  
"Yeah, but Gandalf said I was noble." I shot back.  
  
"He's, like, really, really old!" Lisa said.  
  
Courtney and I looked at Lisa. "What does that have to do with anything?" We asked at the same time. Then we both started giggling quietly.  
  
And so we went to bed. And every single night we had stupid, meaningless conversations like that. I guess it was a way to remind us of home. Then one night, we had a conversation about just that.  
  
"How long do you think we've been away?" Lisa asked suddenly one night as we all looked up at the stars.  
  
"It's been a month, or there about." Courtney said.  
  
"No, I mean real home. My messy, yet perfect room."  
  
I sighed. "Sis, who knows. We could have been gone a month, a minute, a second, a year. Hell, one of those stars could be our sun." We all sat in thought for awhile.  
  
I thought about what would happen if Lisa, or Courtney, or even if I died. I thought about how we got here, and where we were going. Then after that, I must have dozed off.  
  
The next day we were marching along and I somehow ended up next to Pippin.  
  
"So, Pippin, do you know where we're going?" I asked. And, to my surprise, he answered.  
  
"Well, Frodo overheard Strider and Gandalf talking the other night."  
  
"Not you?"  
  
"Sadly no. I was sleeping at the time." He laughed remembering. "We are supposed to be heading towards some mountain."  
  
"Thanks." I said and fell back to Courtney and Lisa.  
  
"Hey Laura!" Lisa said waving like those freaks on the "Today Show".  
  
I rolled my eyes. "You guys, we're going up the mountain."  
  
"Hell no!" Courtney yelled. "I'm not going up that mountain!"  
  
"Well I don't think we have a choice." I said.  
  
"Do you think we should tell them?" Lisa asked.  
  
We all stopped waling, looked at each other, and said "No." at the same time.  
  
"Girls, keep it down. The enemy is always near." We heard Aragorn yell from the front.  
  
That just made us laugh some more. It was one of those laughing spasms. You know what I'm talking about.  
  
"I'm a woman, ass whole." Courtney managed to whisper while laughing.  
  
"Enemy always near!" Lisa said laughing doing an impersonation of Aragorn. It was pretty good if I do say so myself.  
  
Suddenly we found ourselves standing in front of Aragorn.  
  
"Perhaps," he said, "You do not understand the meaning of 'keep it down'."  
  
"Actually, no." Lisa said.  
  
"Try 'shut up'." Courtney chimed in.  
  
"Yeah, then swear." I said.  
  
"Then I will silence you myself." His hand went for his sword, so did ours.  
  
"No Strider!" I heard a voice yell.  
  
"Frodo, my friend, I need to silence these."  
  
"Aragorn." Gandalf stepped into the picture. "No need to kill or injure. Ladies, would you please, as you put it, 'shut up'?"  
  
Well we shut up because Gandalf was probably the only guy who was nice to us.  
  
We walked and the ground began to rise. I sighed. Walking up a mountain with a pack on my back was not my idea of fun.  
  
"I'm not going up this thing all the way." Courtney said.  
  
"Of course not. Saruman's going to blow is off." Lisa laughed.  
  
"You're an idiot. I don't want to go that far." She said.  
  
"Go a little farther, then you can stop. That is, if Aragorn doesn't slice and dice you into a million pieces." I said.  
  
We laughed silently.  
  
After four hours it began to snow. We stopped in an alcove. I walked up to Gandalf who was at the entrance.  
  
"Gandalf, I don't know if you believe in premonitions, but I have a gut feeling that Saruman is going to bring down the mountain." I said. Courtney and Lisa would kill me for telling him that.  
  
"Nonsense."  
  
"Okay, whatever." I walked back to Courtney and Lisa.  
  
"Let me guess," Lisa said putting her hand up, "you told him about Saruman."  
  
"No. I actually told him I had a premonition or a gut instinct." I replied putting my bag on my back.  
  
"What did he say?" Lisa asked also putting her bag on her back.  
  
I shrugged. "Nonsense."  
  
She nodded. "Thought so."  
  
"Excuse me." Courtney said, "Why are you putting your bags on?"  
  
"We're just about to leave. You should get yours on too." I said.  
  
"No way."  
  
"Why not?" Lisa asked her best friend.  
  
"I said it before, I'm not going up all the way."  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Fine. Stay. See you later on." I moved toward the entrance.  
  
"Laura!" I heard her call. I ignored it. She could come to me and say what she wanted to say. Instead Lisa came up to me.  
  
"What crawled up your ass and died?" she asked me.  
  
"Stop being a bitch Lisa." I said stepping into the snow.  
  
"Oh, I'm being the bitch? What's up with you Laura?"  
  
"Everything!" I yelled. My voice echoed across the valley. I lowered my voice. "I'm in a land that's not even supposed to exist going on a journey where me, you, or Courtney could die, and everything is supposed to be peaches and cream? I don't think so. Lisa, this is the most impossible video game ever created. Even the Ellimist couldn't figure this one out."  
  
She smiled. "Yeah, well, let the Ellimist decide that. Until then, I like peaches and cream, and I'm pretty good at video games."  
  
"Get a life Lisa. You don't like peaches and cream, and you suck at video games. And, no, Animorphs is not going to help the situation."  
  
"Shows how much you know about me. I like peaches, and I'm okay with cream. And, I'm pretty good at video games." She turned to say "goodbye" to Courtney, then stopped and faced me. "One last thing, I didn't bring Animorphs into this, you did." Then Lisa disappeared into the alcove.  
  
We left Courtney in the alcove. We'd be seeing her in a few hours. Courtney's story to Gandalf was; "She'd follow when the snow let up."  
  
The snow didn't let up. In fact, it only got worse. It was a blizzard.  
  
"I'm so cold." I managed to whisper to Lisa.  
  
"I think Courtney was right to stay behind." She replied.  
  
"God, don't tell her that. I can hear her now; 'Of course, I'm always right!'" we both laughed.  
  
"That was a pretty good impression of her. Now all you have to get down is her Scooby Doo laugh. Re-ee-he-he-he-he." Lisa did an impersonation of Courtney's laugh, which made us laugh harder. After a little bit she said, "This is why I never became an Eskimo. Too cold."  
  
"Lisa, you have to be born an Eskimo, you can't become one."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Then boulders fell from the overhead and crashed beside us, ruining our good moods.  
  
"Saruman." I muttered.  
  
"Tell me about it." Lisa said.  
  
Gandalf started saying a counter curse. Or, it was something like that.  
  
"It's not going to work," I whispered to Lisa.  
  
"No duh."  
  
"So, what do we do?"  
  
"What! You're asking me?"  
  
"Well I can't ask Courtney!"  
  
"Yeah, but me, of all people!" Or hobbits, or whatever."  
  
CRACK!  
  
Lisa and I stopped arguing immediately. We looked at each other. No one else had heard it.  
  
I smiled. "Wh-What do we do now?"  
  
Lisa smiled back. "Running would be a good idea." She said in her best French accent.  
  
Before I could even turn around someone grabbed my bag and pulled me backwards. I fell down the trail and hit my head.  
  
I was going to feel that one later.  
  
Finally, I stopped rolling. I felt really groggy. I went to stand up and my foot fell into nothingness. My eyes opened wide.  
  
"Holy." Someone grabbed me and pulled me away from the edge. "Stop with the coming up behind thing!" I yelled.  
  
I heard Courtney laugh. "Is that the thanks I get for saving your butt?"  
  
"Saving me! You almost made me fall off a mountain!" I yelled  
  
"So I'm a little shaky. At least you're not under five feet of snow right now.  
  
I rolled my eyes. Lisa laughed.  
  
"What are you three doing down here?" A voice asked.  
  
We turned around to see Legolas.  
  
"Well see." Lisa began.  
  
"We heard a noise." I continued.  
  
"And I saved them from the avalanche." Courtney finished.  
  
Legolas eyes Courtney suspiciously. "Lady Courtney. Here we thought you were staying behind until the snow let up. Curious." He turned to help get the others out of the snow.  
  
"Smart Courtney." Lisa said. "Next time, don't draw attention to yourself."  
  
"Well sorry! Geez, I can't believe I don't get any thanks!" Courtney exclaimed.  
  
"You want thanks, I'll give you thanks." I sneered. "Thanks for almost getting us killed and turning yet another person against us."  
  
"I said sorry." Courtney shot back.  
  
"Laura!" Lisa said shooting me an evil look. "Stop it with the attitude. God, Courtney was just trying to help us."  
  
Lisa was right. And you know what I hated most? That Lisa was right. I hated losing arguments.  
  
"Sorry." I muttered.  
  
"There's the loving Laura we know and love! Now let's help these guys out before everyone hates us." And with that Lisa started to dig out snow. Courtney and I followed.  
  
It took another hour to get everyone out of the snow. It took the rest of the day to get down the mountain. That night we slept at the foot of the mountain.  
  
Lisa sighed. "So this means."  
  
"We're going to Moria." 


	5. The Fellowship: Chapter 4

Chapter 4  
  
"Are we there yet?" Lisa asked.  
  
"Lisa," Courtney yelled enough to make Lisa notice but not enough for Aragorn to slice and dice us, "do you want to get to Moria sooner?"  
  
"Well, I guess it depends on how you look at it." Lisa answered.  
  
"Lisa, shut up." Courtney said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Or do you need me to explain those two word?" I said. "Because I would be more than happy to."  
  
"Oh. So Rachel." She laughed.  
  
That night we arrived at the doors of Moria.  
  
"Okay," I whispered to Courtney, "Should we tell them?"  
  
"I think, either way, we're screwed." She replied.  
  
Lisa joined our conversation. "If we don't, the entrance gets blocked. If we do, we can get back out the way we came, and save everybody a lot of trouble."  
  
"I like the latter better."  
  
"Me too." Courtney said.  
  
"So," Lisa remarked, "Let's go."  
  
"Wait, wait, wait." I said stopping. "We can't all go."  
  
"You're right." Lisa exclaimed. "I'll go."  
  
Courtney laughed. "No way! You'll just show them how dumb we! I'll go."  
  
"Fine by me." And with that I sat down on a rock.  
  
Lisa however, put up a fight. "Yeah, maybe you agree but."  
  
"Lisa, Lisa, Lisa." I interrupted. "Shut up. The decision has been made."  
  
Lisa rolled her eyes. "Peace, love, and happiness."  
  
Lisa sat on the rock next to me. That's when I noticed Pippin getting ready to throw a rock in the water.  
  
"Don't." I said.  
  
"What?" he asked.  
  
"Throw a rock in the water."  
  
"Why?"  
  
I sighed. "You really don't want to know. So, just trust me."  
  
Well, apparently, he did trust me because he stopped throwing rocks.  
  
Courtney came back.  
  
"Well?" I asked.  
  
She smiled. "Three."  
  
"Two." Lisa chimed in.  
  
"One." I finished.  
  
Then I heard the doors open.  
  
"Perfect timing." Lisa said.  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Let's go you guys." I said putting my pack on my back.  
  
"Yeah." Lisa mumbled. "Let's go straight to our deaths."  
  
"What's up with you girl?" Courtney asked. "You're the one who said "let's tell 'em'."  
  
"I know. But."  
  
"But there's no way around Moria. And if we go through, there's Orcs and the Balrog." I finished for her. She nodded.  
  
"Laura!" I heard Pippin call. "Come on! You'll get left behind!"  
  
As we started walking I said "At least I know Pippin doesn't hate me."  
  
Well, what can I say about Moria? It was darker than I expected. And all we had was Gandalf's staff to lead the way. Okay, we also had my flashlight, but I wasn't about to use it with almost the whole company hating us and Aragorn ready to chop us up.  
  
After what seemed like forever, we finally camped.  
  
"Finally," Lisa muttered, "I thought we were never going to stop. My feet are so damn sore that they have blisters."  
  
"Yeah, stop complaining. We all had to walk in the same boots." I shot back.  
  
"You can't stop me from being a pessimist. I plan to do that the whole way." She replied.  
  
Courtney laughed. "So, you're going to complain the whole way."  
  
"Yup."  
  
"Great," I muttered, "I'll worry the whole way."  
  
"Perfect!" Lisa exclaimed. "Courtney, you can be the optimist!"  
  
"Someone has to be." Courtney said.  
  
After dinner (or what they qualified as dinner, I swear they gave us less than everyone else), we all laid down our blankets to go to sleep.  
  
"Laura," Courtney whispered.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you still have your flashlight?"  
  
"Yeah, but."  
  
"Just give me it."  
  
I handed it to her. "Where are you going?"  
  
"To get more wafers."  
  
She got up when we heard two bodies slam into each other.  
  
"Sorry." The person said.  
  
"Merry," Courtney hissed, "Watch where you're going."  
  
"Same to you. Where are you going?"  
  
"To get some more wafers. You?"  
  
"The same. But you're heading in the wrong direction."  
  
"Oh." She turned on the flashlight.  
  
"Turn off the flashlight!" Lisa whispered into the dark. "You're kind of noticeable!"  
  
Courtney and Merry set off to find wafers. Lisa and I began to fall asleep. Not two minutes had passed when something hit me on the head.  
  
"It was her!" Courtney said.  
  
I threw the wafers onto Lisa. "It was her!"  
  
Lisa, who woke up just as I threw the wafers on her, didn't have time to react.  
  
Aragorn laughed. "You think you've fooled me haven't you? I'm not a fool. Now kindly give me the wafers, we need to save our rations." He took the wafers from Lisa and walked away.  
  
I sighed. Then with heavy sarcasm I said, "Next time we need wafers call on Courtney: The Wafer Master!"  
  
"Shut up." She said in reply.  
  
We woke up the next morning and kept on walking. I never thought we'd stop. Finally when we did, we stopped in this chamber. Gandalf handed Pippin his hat and staff.  
  
"You guys," I whispered, "Do you think we should, like, make Pippin not drop the skeleton down the hole?"  
  
"Great idea!" Lisa said. We all ran behind Pippin. He turned around and gave us a weird look. We smiled and waved in return. I swear he rolled his eyes. He was learning quickly.  
  
Gandalf picked up a book and began to read from it. Lisa picked up a rock and showed it to me.  
  
"How much do you think I could get for this?"  
  
I laughed quietly. "How much do you think P.J. would pay for an actual stone from Moria?"  
  
She smiled. "A lot."  
  
I rolled my eyes and turned back to look at Gandalf. Suddenly I heard a rock drop down the well/hole. I had a gut instinct it was Lisa's fault. I twirled around and in doing so my arm hit the skeleton and that dropped down the hole.  
  
"Well, can I say shit!" Courtney said then kicked the wall of the well. The sides collapsed and fell in the hole.  
  
Gandalf turned to face us. "Do you realize what you've done!"  
  
Then suddenly, DOOM-DOOM.  
  
"I'm freaking myself out man." Lisa whispered.  
  
DOOM-DOOM.  
  
And suddenly it wasn't so funny anymore. I heard Orcs coming and al I thought was, This is it.  
  
"Orcs!" Legolas cried.  
  
I took that line and tried to make a joke. "Why did we have to get stuck with people who state the obvious?"  
  
Lisa dropped to her knees and started to scream. The only thing I could make out was, "Why?"  
  
"Why what?" Courtney yelled.  
  
But Lisa couldn't answer because that's when all the Orcs started to pour into the room. And with no prior experience, I went into battle.  
  
An Orc came running at me and I put my sword through his chest. It died with a piercing shriek. After that fighting came easily.  
  
I decapitated another Orc and that's when my already weird life got even weirder. Sam Allen, Lisa's friend, popped up in front of me.  
  
"Lisa?" she asked.  
  
I rolled eyes. Being a twin sucked sometimes. "No, Laura."  
  
"Where the hell am I?"  
  
"How the hell did you get here?" I asked.  
  
"I was just reading Lord of the Rings and listening to the soundtrack and I popped up here. Where is here?"  
  
"Shit. You're in the middle of a battle in Moria." I took my dagger from my boot and gave it to her. "Now go save Lisa's ass."  
  
"Where is she?"  
  
I pointed to her getting surrounded by Orcs. I laughed. Yes, despite the fact I was in the middle of a freaking battle with Orcs, I laughed. If I was paying attention I could have seen the Orc coming up behind me. But Sam did.  
  
"Behind you!" she screamed.  
  
I whipped my sword around and chopped the Orc in half.  
  
"Gross!"  
  
"Just save Lisa!" I yelled.  
  
While she went to go save Lisa I fought my way to Courtney.  
  
"Sam Allen." I said.  
  
"What about her? How the hell can you think of her at a time like this?"  
  
"She's here."  
  
I swear her jaw dropped to the floor. She almost dropped her sword.  
  
"You're kidding."  
  
"Nope."  
  
"She just left." Lisa said coming up behind us. She startled me. I don't know about Courtney. Lisa handed me my dagger.  
  
I was about to say something when I heard a voice scream, "Aragorn!"  
  
"Frodo!" all three of us yelled at the same time. Then we all bolted. Frodo was really close to being stabbed by a cave-troll. We were about twenty feet away from him when Courtney yelled:  
  
"Mithril!"  
  
She and Lisa t stopped but I, being the smart one I am, kept running to save him.  
  
"Laura!" Lisa yelled.  
  
But it was too late. I leaped and pushed Frodo away from the spear. He landed on top of me. I pushed him off when the troll pointed the spear at us. As I began to roll my cloak got stuck on something. I turned around to see what it was stuck on. The cave-troll had tried to stab at me but had missed and got my cloak instead. Now the spear was stuck.  
  
I looked up at the troll who now had an arrow in his throat. It was going to fall on me if I didn't move. The only problem was that I couldn't.  
  
"Courtney, Lisa!" I yelled. "Help!"  
  
"You idiot!" Lisa shrieked, "Rip your cloak! You'll get another one!"  
  
I tried to rip it, but it wouldn't tear. "Shit."  
  
"Laura, move!" Boromir yelled.  
  
"Ya think?"  
  
That's when the cave-troll landed no more than five inches beside me.  
  
"You're a damned idiot Laura!" Lisa yelled.  
  
I laughed. "Talk about an adrenaline rush."  
  
Courtney rolled her eyes.  
  
"Come on you guys help me!" I whined.  
  
Lisa and Courtney came over and managed to pull the spear out and I stood up.  
  
"To the bridge of Khazad-Dum!" Gandalf said way too calmly.  
  
Well, we ran. And the Orcs chased us. In fact, they surrounded us.  
  
"Well, this isn't good." Lisa said.  
  
"Lisa," I groaned, "don't start singing."  
  
"What?" Courtney asked wide-eyed.  
  
"I can't help but to sing." Lisa took a deep breath and sang, "Get off of my back and into my game." It was a song from the "Spirit" soundtrack, but she didn't sing anymore because at that moment the Orcs started to run away.  
  
We all lost our happy mood ver quickly.  
  
"Well," Lisa said trying to lighten our mood, "either my song worked, or my singing sucks."  
  
"I don't think it was either of them." I said softly. See I had seen a light coming and I knew it was the Balrog. I saw Courtney's face, apparently she knew too.  
  
"Hey," Lisa complained, "I'm supposed to be the pessimist!"  
  
"Yeah, but I'm supposed to worry, and I'm worrying." I said turning to run.  
  
"Oh! Okay. I get it." Lisa went to Gandalf. "Mr. Gandalf sir."  
  
"Lisa!" Courtney yelled turning to run with me, "Now is NOT the time!"  
  
"But I have to say it!"  
  
Courtney and I didn't wait for her. We started to run hoping Lisa would follow us. If we had bothered to look back we would have noticed the hobbits running right after us then the rest of the Fellowship after them.  
  
Courtney and I ran faster than we ever had in our entire lives. Which, more than likely, our lives did depend on how fast we ran. When we finally did stop running we were past the gap separating the two places in the staircase.  
  
Courtney and I looked back. The Fellowship had just come through the door at the top of the stairs. But there was no sign of Lisa.  
  
"Where is she?" Courtney hissed at me.  
  
"Right there." I said pointing to the top of the staircase.  
  
Lisa was running through the door screaming and her hands waving in the air. She could have been waving 'hi', but I knew Lisa and right then she was scared shitless.  
  
She ran fast enough to catch up with the Fellowship and they came to the gap. Legolas jumped first then Gandalf. Boromir was about to throw Lisa when she screamed:  
  
"Don't throw me! Don't throw me!"  
  
Then an arrow missed Lisa's boot by an inch to which she replied:  
  
"Throw me! Throw me! Throw me!"  
  
And instead of someone throwing her, Merry and Pippin accidentally tripped into Lisa making her topple over the crack separating the stairs. She landed on her back right at our feet.  
  
"I'm going to feel that one in the morning." She said forcing a smile.  
  
"Come on you ass!" Courtney yelled as she and I turned to head toward the bridge.  
  
Once again we ran. I could hear the Balrog coming. After about five minutes of running we finally reached the bridge of Khazad-Dum.  
  
As we ran Courtney yelled, "Keep running straight and don't look down, keep running straight and don't look down!"  
  
I tripped over a rock and fell face down.  
  
"Courtney, I'm looking down!" I yelled.  
  
"Laura, now is NOT the time!" she screamed helping me up.  
  
We got across the bridge and turned to look back. Lisa was in front of everyone still running with her hands waving in the air. She got across.  
  
"Courtney, Laura." she said breathless.  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Lisa, we weren't going to get ourselves killed even though it seemed like you did."  
  
"I know, but I was wondering if we should.you know." she added the last part in a whisper, "save Gandalf."  
  
I snapped my fingers. "Good plan. Courtney." I turned to ask Courtney who had been standing next to me but she was no longer there. I looked down on the bridge. Courtney was halfway to Gandalf already saving him.  
  
"Looks like she's one step ahead of us." I said.  
  
Lisa and I ran to back her up, but Aragorn grabbed me and stopped me. Lisa kept running. I looked at him and said:  
  
"Not today buddy!"  
  
I kicked the back of his knees and he buckled to the ground. I, you know what? You know what I was doing, so lets keep it at that.  
  
I caught up to Lisa just as the Balrog fell into "The Shadow".  
  
Courtney, Lisa, and I grabbed Gandalf and pulled him back. Courtney was standing on the edge looking satisfied. I saw the whip come up and all I could as myself was:  
  
Was that what the whip really looked like?  
  
It grabbed Courtney's ankle and she yelled, "SHIT!" and a couple of others I shouldn't mention.  
  
It pulled her down but somehow she managed to hold on to the edge. Lisa and I grabbed her hands. Her eyes held a horrified, helpless look. Like she had already died. Lisa looked the same exact way. It was to be expected they were best friends.  
  
"Lisa, if I die, you can have all my CD's." she said.  
  
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Gandalf starting to get up.  
  
"Only your CD's?" I pressed.  
  
I saw Frodo starting to come down.  
  
"Okay, you can have the CD player too."  
  
"Only your CD player?" I continued to press. Help was almost there.  
  
"Okay, the TV too, but that's it." She said choking on tears.  
  
"See you Courtney." I said letting go of one hand. Her eyes got wide but Gandalf took my place and pulled her up.  
  
I turned to Frodo. "It's been one hell of a day hasn't it?" 


	6. The Fellowship: Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
We got out of Moria. We had more people liking us such as Frodo, Gandalf, Merry, Pippin, and Sam. It was better than before when they just talked to us because they were trying to be nice. Courtney finally accepted that I let go so Gandalf could pull her up and save her.  
  
"So," Lisa said making conversation since we had a long walk to Lothlorien, "why did you save Frodo anyway?"  
  
"Right then it was all about the adrenaline rush."  
  
"Imagine that." Courtney muttered.  
  
"But now that I think about it, maybe it could mean more people trust us."  
  
"Well, I'm sure that worked out real well." Lisa said. "Aragorn still hates us. Who knows about Boromir and Legolas and Gimli try to avoid us if at all possible."  
  
"Well, Aragorn is probably ticked at me because I 'injured' him in Moria."  
  
"What!" Courtney yelled.  
  
"You know, I gave him a nudge to hurt his pride. And maybe there's a bruise." I said.  
  
"Oh, yeah!" Courtney yelled.  
  
"Ladies!" Aragorn shouted.  
  
"Sorry." We all said back.  
  
"We will rest for an hour then continue to Lothlorien."  
  
Courtney took this as an okay to start yelling (quietly) again.  
  
"I'm so sure Aragorn is intimidated by a thirteen year old!" she looked at Lisa for support.  
  
"Don't look at me. I'm on Laura's side. Aragorn is a son of a bitch and shouldn't be on this mission. He didn't try to save Gandalf. He almost killed us. I mean, some on!"  
  
The whole time Aragorn was standing directly behind her.  
  
"He's standing behind me, isn't he?" she asked.  
  
We nodded our heads.  
  
"Should I run?"  
  
"Oh yeah." I said.  
  
But Aragorn put his hand on her shoulder, laughed, and said, "As long as we can be honest."  
  
I stood there wide-eyed and mouth open.  
  
"And while we're at it," he continued, "I don't exactly think you're the best one for the quest either. I seem to remember you all suddenly popping up in a secret council."  
  
"Well." Courtney began.  
  
"It's kind of hard to explain." I said.  
  
"Really hard." Lisa tried.  
  
"Someday." He said and walked away.  
  
Courtney, Lisa, and I stood there in silence.  
  
"Well," I said, "that was weird."  
  
"Does this mean he likes us?" Lisa asked.  
  
"Forget that. Should we tell them?" Courtney questioned.  
  
"How about.no." I said. "We don' tell them how we got here until we know how to get home."  
  
"Home." Lisa said quietly.  
  
"Yeah." Courtney whispered.  
  
"Anyone have any red, ruby slippers?" Lisa asked.  
  
"What?" I questioned.  
  
"Then I could say 'there's no place like home' three times and tap my heels together."  
  
"My God Lisa!" Courtney cried. But even she could see Lisa was trying to lighten the mood.  
  
After an hour we made our way to Lothlorien. We crossed a river and we had crossed what Legolas called, 'the border to an Elven land of old'. When he started to sing, I protested and he stopped.  
  
That's when we all bumped into Haldir. And I was ticked when he said we would rest tonight then see Galadriel tomorrow.  
  
"Excuse me, Haldir?"  
  
"Yes Lady Laura?"  
  
"You mean to tell me we've traveled all this way just to rest! Couldn't we rest, NOT SO NEAR THE BORDER!"  
  
"Excuse my sister." Lisa said, "We've traveled a long way and we wanted to see her tonight."  
  
"And if you need a translation," Courtney chimed in, "its, get off your lazy ass and take us to Galadriel or we're going to have to kick your ass!"  
  
"You had better listen to them. I have a bruise from the last time I didn't listen to them." Aragorn said.  
  
After much argument we were headed to see Galadriel.  
  
"I'm waiting for the talking to the mind thing she does." Lisa said cheerfully.  
  
I know why you're here, a voice inside my head said.  
  
"Right on cue." Lisa whispered.  
  
You have caused things to happen that should not have. You all will serve out your sentence for what you have done.  
  
"What do you suppose that means?" Courtney asked.  
  
"I really don't want to know." I answered.  
  
"Hah!" Lisa said. "I know exactly what it means!"  
  
I groaned. "I remember saying I didn't want to know."  
  
"It means she's going to kill us!" Lisa finished.  
  
Courtney and I stared at her. The only noise you could hear was the thudding of boots (feet) against the ground.  
  
"Well," Courtney said at last, "at least she's being a pessimist."  
  
I giggled a little.  
  
"That's not funny." Lisa snapped in a serious tone of voice.  
  
Galadriel didn't speak to us for a whole hour until we actually met her, but it was obvious that she was speaking mind to mind with everyone else. Frodo's head kept turning trying to pinpoint a voice from no organ, and Boromir was trying desperately to hold back tears. I sided up next to Frodo.  
  
"Hello Frodo." I whispered to him.  
  
"I'm not Frodo, I'm Samwise." Sam answered.  
  
"Sorry Sam, all you hobbits look the same in the dark. Except for Pippin, he's a whole half a foot taller than most of you."  
  
"No need to apologize." He said yawning. "I was just about to call you 'Lisa'. Really, I can't tell you two apart when it's dark like this."  
  
"You can't even tell us apart during the day." Then as an afterthought, "Sorry."  
  
"About what?" he asked.  
  
"About having you all travel during the night like this. Sorry I.I."I trailed off then muttered to myself, "Sorry for being in this hellhole of a place."  
  
Apparently, I didn't say it quietly enough.  
  
"Language Laura." Lisa said. "We want to make a good impression for Middle Earth about our way of life."  
  
I laughed. "Then they got the wrong century, and the wrong people. We're swearing left and right and we don't exactly respect people do we?"  
  
"Well," Courtney said, "at least we don't put on an act. What you see is what you get."  
  
That was the wrong choice of words because this gave Lisa the idea to sing.  
  
"What you see, is what you get, this is me, hey you, if you want me don't forget, you should take, me as I am." and she sang the whole song over and over until we got to Galadriel.  
  
We all stood there stiff as a board and silent. She and Celeborn walked down these stairs. Celeborn whisked Gandalf away to talk to him and Galadriel said a short speech, then asked us to step aside while everyone else went to sleep.  
  
"Can we speed this up Lady G, I'm a little tired." Lisa yawned.  
  
"I know you are not of this timeline. You have many questions to ask me. I will not answer them now for I believe it is too early to tell you and I do not have answers to many. However, I do have something to give you to make your stay much more enjoyable." And with that she gave us each a small box with CD's on top of it. "It is what you call CD's and a CD player. Just call it a little Elven magic." She winked and walked away.  
  
I looked at my CD's. I had Britney Spears "Oops I did it again", Christina Aguilera (the first one), Vanessa Carlton "Be Not Nobody", Charlie's Angels Soundtrack, and the Spirit Soundtrack. Lisa had all three *NSYNC CD's, the Shrek Soundtrack, and Pink "Missundaztood". Courtney had the Moulin Rouge Soundtrack, Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring Soundtrack, Linkin Park, the Tarzan Soundtrack, and the Titanic Soundtrack.  
  
I laid down to go to sleep when all of a sudden I heard.  
  
"LOVE IS A MANY SPLENDID THING, LOVE LIFTS US UP WHERE WE BELONG, ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE."  
  
Courtney was blasting the "Elephant Love Melody".  
  
"Courtney," I groaned, "What the hell are you doing?"  
  
Lisa answered. "We found the volume button! Check it out! There are headphones!"  
  
Courtney continued, "They're in this compartment. And look in this compartment, we can store CD's!"  
  
Lisa laughed. "Brining Hollywood to Lothlorien!"  
  
I giggled remembering that day in Rivendell.  
  
"Ladies!" We heard Aragorn yell from the dark, then we heard a sword getting drawn from its sheath.  
  
"Shit." We said together and went to sleep rather quickly.  
  
The CD's had brought my bad mood up to a good mood, until the next morning. I awoke Lisa yelling,  
  
"Get up troops! We have a lot of work to do today!"  
  
"Lisa," Courtney groaned turning to her other side," shut the hell up and get back in the damn bed."  
  
"For your bad mouthing soldier, you'll make that twenty push ups and forty curl ups!"  
  
Sure enough, Lisa had us doing push-ups and curl ups. Then she made us do jumping jacks.  
  
"I don't know what I've been told!" Lisa sang.  
  
"I don't know what I've been told." Courtney and I said groggily.  
  
Off in the distance I heard Aragorn saying; "Smartest thing they've done so far."  
  
Finally Lisa stopped being a drill Sargent, sat down, and blared: Baha Men "Best Years of Our Lives". I managed to drag myself to an overly large tree root/branch thing, and thought.  
  
Not for the first time I thought about home. About how far away we were from it; and how we were going to get back. Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe we were all going to wake up soon. How long would it take for us to die?  
  
But I also thought about how I was in my favorite book of all time. I was actually seeing Boromir, Frodo, and Gandalf. I was on a non-stop tour of Middle Earth.  
  
I smiled and looked down at my CD's. I was in a country kind of mood today, but nobody had any country. Oh well. I put in Spirit instead, closed my eyes, and did absolutely nothing. It was the best thing in the world. However, I only got halfway through the first song when Courtney interrupted me.  
  
"Laura," she whispered turning down my music, "it's happening tonight."  
  
"What's happening?" I asked confused.  
  
She rolled her eyes. "The mirror, duh."  
  
What was she - oh. "Oh! The mirror thing. How do you know?"  
  
"Espionage." She said turning up my music and walking away.  
  
I made a mental note of that in the back of my mind. I changed my CD to the Charlie's Angels Soundtrack.  
  
"Laura!" Lisa yelled. "Let's teach these hobbits how to get down!" I saw Courtney behind her smiling, nodding in agreement. I smiled too, changing it to number six.  
  
"Oh my Gawd. Becky look at her butt, it is so big."  
  
It was pretty funny seeing the hobbits 'get down'. For the next hour we finally got the hobbits to dance right for their next date at a party. We all seemed to get closer too. Funny as it seems, I could almost call them my friends. But, they weren't real. They were just a figment of Tolkien's imagination.  
  
Or were they?  
  
Courtney, Lisa, and I walked away a bit into some of the bigger trees.  
  
"Okay," Courtney began, "How the hell do we get out of this?"  
  
"Good question." Lisa stated picking up a leaf.  
  
"Laura?" Courtney asked.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"Do you have any ideas?"  
  
"No, you know what I don't. And I don't give a damn. We've been through hell and we've been through heaven. You want to get a plan now? It's a little late. I've made up my mind. I don't want to go back. Lord of the Rings is fine by me."  
  
"What about everything else?" Lisa asked. "What about everything we left behind?"  
  
"What about it? I was going insane I needed something to happen, and you know what, here it is. The hobbits know how to live happy lives, they don't know about murders. They didn't have to watch all those people die on 9- 11."  
  
"Is that what this is all about?" Lisa shrieked. "You don't want to live in a world with murdering maniacs? You think it's unfair? Well, tough! When the world throws stuff at you, you deal. Just deal with it."  
  
"Don't be a dumbass Laura," Courtney said through gritted teeth trying not to yell.  
  
"I'm not trying to be!" I said throwing my hands up.  
  
"Laura!" Courtney screamed forgetting the trying not to yell, "If it weren't for the fact that you're my friend and we need you," she took her sword out from it's sheath, "I'd chop off your head!" She swung at a tree when something happened.  
  
"Heather!" I yelled lunging to push her to the ground. Courtney changed the direction of her sword narrowly missing Lisa.  
  
"Watch it!" Lisa yelled.  
  
"Sorry." Courtney said sheathing her sword.  
  
"Heather?" I asked getting off of her. Heather was our English friend from the real world. Or, the other real world. Anyway you get my point. She had just appeared just as Sam did in Moria.  
  
"Well who else would it be?"  
  
"A Keebler Elf." Lisa supplied.  
  
"Where are we?" Heather asked.  
  
I sighed. "Do you want the truth?"  
  
"The whole truth and nothing but the truth?" Lisa added.  
  
"Well, I think this is a dream, and you're in it." Heather said.  
  
"Dream?" Courtney asked in disbelief. "Does this look or feel like a dream?"  
  
"Actually, no." She said looking around. "But these trees are huge. And that person there looks like, well, Pippin."  
  
"PIPPIN!" We all yelled. Well, Courtney, Lisa, and I.  
  
"Well of course. I was wondering when you were going to notice I was standing here. Who is that?"  
  
"That, my friend, is an Elf." Lisa said putting her hand on his shoulder.  
  
"Then why does she look, well, different?"  
  
"She's wearing the new line of Elven-clothing." Lisa said smiling.  
  
"Well, it certainly doesn't look Elven."  
  
"Pippin, your scarf, well, it doesn't look hobbitish either." She led Pippin away.  
  
"Heather, how did you get here?" Courtney whispered.  
  
"I was watching Lord of the Rings and they were in Lothlorien."  
  
"And." I pressed.  
  
"We're in Lothlorien aren't we?" she asked excitedly.  
  
"Yeah, and in deep shit." Courtney said. "How the hell are we going to explain you?"  
  
"Well, they're on the boats now."  
  
"What are you talking about?" I asked frustrated.  
  
"I was watching the movie and they were in the boats, look you can see them through the trees there." she pointed and that's when I understood. They were getting the boats together.  
  
"Heather, you're a." I began but Courtney cut me off with a high-pitched scream.  
  
"HOLY HELL! SHIT! DAMN!"  
  
"What?" I yelled turning around pulling out my sword.  
  
"She's gone." Courtney said shakily.  
  
A light upstairs clicked on. 


	7. The Fellowship: Chapter 6

Chapter 6  
  
"I have a theory." I announced.  
  
"Well, Heather and Pippin are gone and a theory is more than I have." Lisa said trotting up to us. It was almost funny, at home Lisa never ran unless she had to. It also reminded me of how much our lives had changed. I would never be the same.  
  
"Yeah," Courtney agreed, "How does Lisa saying 'I think Lord of the Rings really happened' get us here?"  
  
"Well, I think we're in an alternate universe." There was no objection so I continued, "When Lisa said that it opened up a portal to the universe. We got sucked through."  
  
"How did Heather and Sam get here?" Courtney asked.  
  
"I think the portal didn't close. That it's still open. The people who are close to us or we talk to, get sucked through spare strands whenever they talk, think, see, and hear Lord of the Rings. Still no objection. "What I also think is that." I paused not knowing how to say this, "that we're connected to our world spiritually which is how the portal didn't close, we're still in the way."  
  
"So, people are playing with us?" Courtney asked. I nodded.  
  
"Okay, people with greater power brought us here because we opened up a portal, I'll buy that. What I don't get is how come Heather and Sam have gone back, but we haven't?" Lisa demanded.  
  
I was silent.  
  
"What! You know everything but this!"  
  
Courtney answered. "We're doing something wrong."  
  
"No, Courtney," Lisa said sarcastically, "We're not doing anything wrong." Then she got serious. "Just by being here we're doing something wrong. We saved Gandalf and."  
  
"We're going to save Boromir." I said.  
  
"What!" Courtney and Lisa both yelled.  
  
"Shhhh!" I yelled seeing Boromir nearby, "We'll let this slide for now, but we really have to get thinking. Let's get some sleep before the mirror."  
  
"This place just gets better and better, doesn't it?" Lisa muttered.  
  
Our 'meeting' ended with us sleeping. Something told me that I wouldn't be getting much sleep soon. I woke up while everyone else was getting into bed. I totally forgot about the mirror and closed my eyes. Then Lisa shook me awake. We got up and hid behind a bush. Slowly I saw Frodo and Sam get up and follow Lady G. We followed a good distance behind them. They went down stairs into a gully while we climbed a branch that went over top of it.  
  
"Well," Lisa said, "I was right. This place does get better and better."  
  
"Better," Courtney whispered, "yeah, that's the first word that comes to mind while hiding in a tree forty feet above the ground."  
  
"Nope, I think it's closer to 45 feet." I added helpfully.  
  
"45 feet to my death."  
  
To make a long story short, we saw both Frodo and Sam look into the mirror. Both of them looked shocked and in disbelief.  
  
"We need someone to go down and look in." Lisa said.  
  
"What?" I said. I was only half-listening.  
  
"Thanks for volunteering Laura." Lisa said pushing me off the branch.  
  
I fell, hit the ground, and said three things. "No problem" was the first thing. "Oh shit" was the second thing. Then the third thing was "Hi Lady G. What's happening?" I swear I saw a smile starting to form.  
  
"Laura?" I heard Frodo gasp. "What were you doing up in that tree?"  
  
"Oh, I thought it was a good place to sleep. Peace and quiet. No one threatening to kill me."  
  
"Look into the mirror, Laura." Galadriel said. For a second I thought she was going to say my last name or where I was from.  
  
I didn't say any smart remarks or crack a joke. I just stepped up and looked into it.  
  
I saw Lisa in Fangorn with Merry and Pippin. I saw Courtney with blood on her and blackness going overhead. Then I saw me wrapped in an Elven cloak, and I knew that I was in Mordor. The very place I didn't want to go. Finally I saw a bluish-hole, and I knew with all my heart that that was the portal. The portal home.  
  
I looked up at Courtney and Lisa. I didn't smile or wave. I was in disbelief. We were going to get separated. And without a doubt I knew we were all going to die. We were going to die in a universe that shouldn't exist.  
"So, what did you see?" Lisa asked me the next morning while we were eating breakfast.  
  
I shrugged. "Nothing." I lied.  
  
Courtney believed me, but Lisa didn't. "You can't lie to us Laura. We're all each other have. What you know could be the very thing that could get us home."  
  
"I'll tell you later, but I will say this. We have to be strong if we want to get out alive."  
  
"No duh." Lisa said.  
  
Later that day we all got on the boats and started to sail down the river. I was in a boat with Frodo and Sam. Lisa was in a boat with Merry and Pippin. Courtney was in a boat with Aragorn and Boromir. Gandalf, Gimli, and Legolas were in the last boat.  
  
"Hey Frodo, Sam, have you ever rowed a boat before?"  
  
They both shook their heads.  
  
"Have you never done this before?" Frodo asked.  
  
"Nope, which leads me to my next statement. We're all going to die." I swear their jaws dropped. "I'm kidding!" I hope, I added silently to myself.  
  
Luckily for us, we were heading with the current. So it was pretty much a matter of steering, which I did pretty well. Aragorn's boat was in front, with mine right behind, then Lisa's, then Gandalf's.  
  
We hadn't been traveling long when I noticed Aragorn's boat start to head off to the shore. I followed, wanting to stay alive. We all got out and like a magnetic force Courtney, Lisa, and I stood together. There in front of us was Celeborn and Lady G.  
  
"Let us eat and say our final farewells." Celeborn said and invited us to a sort of picnic.  
  
"All right, FOOD!" Lisa yelled. Out of the corner of my eye I thought I saw Merry and Pippin stifle a laugh.  
  
We sat and ate out fill, loving every moment of it. It was the most we'd eaten in the longest time. Finally the time had come for the point I had been waiting for. The gift giving.  
  
Courtney, Lisa, and I (along with the rest of the Fellowship) got an Elven cloak. That all went fine except when Gandalf refused the cloak. We waited for the rest of them to get their gifts and finally it was out turn.  
  
"To you Courtney," Lady G. said, "I give you and ax. The time may come when you need it." She gave Court a really cool looking ax.  
  
"To you Lisa," She continued, "I give you a hat." She gave Lisa a hat that looked exactly like Robin Hood's. It looked exactly like her cloak, but with a brown feather.  
  
"To you Laura, I give a watch." She handed me a case and I opened it. It was a normal watch.  
  
"Thanks Lady Galadriel. But, seriously, where did you get this?"  
  
She smiled, winked, then took Aragorn aside to talk with him.  
  
I looked at the watch and thought about what I was going to use it for. To time myself sailing down a river? I turned it to the stopwatch mode and pressed 'start'. Then the whole world stopped, no, I had sped up so fast that time seemed to stop.  
  
Oh, shit.  
  
I clicked 'stop'.  
  
There was Courtney and Lisa, smiling and staring at me. I took a deep breath.  
  
"Houston, we have a problem." I said. Lisa laughed and Courtney snickered. "You know that movie 'Clockstoppers'? Well." I pointed at the watch which was in my hand. Courtney obviously didn't get it, but Lisa did.  
  
"Holy shit! How is that a problem? All of our problems are solved!" Lisa exclaimed. Courtney finally clicked in.  
  
"Lisa," I stated, "What if the enemy gets this?"  
  
She didn't have anything to say about that. Courtney did.  
  
"Well, this sucks. Right now we have a gift and a curse." She said.  
  
"She states the obvious." I muttered.  
  
"Hey!" she yelled. "Once you hang out with these people, you start doing it too. It's not like I'm immune!"  
  
I put the watch back in its case and put it in my pack. Before we could say anything else we were called back to the boats. I managed to grab five extra lembas packs and put them into my pack. It wasn't exactly stealing.  
  
That night we slept on the shores of the river. We had shifts to keep watch, two at a time. Lisa and Courtney had a shift half way through the night, when I was in a deep-sleep dreaming. And if I had been awake, I would have noticed Lisa steal my watch and put it in her pocket.  
  
Author's note: The watch isn't mine either, it says that in the reading, but just in case! By the way, since this is the first book in LOTR, it's called, since it's altered (but not that much) The Fellowship. 


	8. The Fellowship: Chapter 7

Chapter 7  
  
"Game of checkers anyone? How about chess? No, wait, I have a better idea, how do we save Boromir's ass?" Lisa said bringing her voice to a whisper for the last part.  
  
We moved off to the side before Courtney put in the next comment which was;  
  
"I thought you didn't feel like saving him."  
  
"I know, but I thought about it. In the movie he got killed because he was trying to save Merry and Pippin and he felt sorry for what he did to Frodo. One of the last things he ever heard was Merry and Pippin being taken away. Let's give him another chance to live."  
  
No one said anything for awhile. It was I who finally broke the silence.  
  
I think I know what you're getting at, Lisa. I guess this means we're not going to Mordor together, huh?"  
  
"Damn straight."  
  
"What the hell are you thinking, Lisa?" Courtney shrieked.  
  
"Sorry about your fairytale ending, Courtney. Lisa sneered. "But let's fact the facts."  
  
"Lisa," I tried, "Stop. Please stop. Maybe we should think this through. I know this is a bit too much 'togetherness' then we wanted. Just because you want to go with Merry and Pippin doesn't mean we should abandon our friendship."  
  
Lisa turned and spat out, "Watch me." Then turned to walk toward the shores of the river. I turned to Courtney.  
  
"Well, I can tell this is getting to all of us." I said. She turned around and took a troubled breath in. She was trying not to cry.  
  
"Laura," she whispered, 'What are we going to do?"  
  
She asked me. Not a general question, but a question directed to me. When did I become a leader? Leader or not, as a friend I wanted so badly to have an answer, but I didn't.  
  
Just three minutes later, Courtney was losing a sword fight to an invisible opponent. Lisa was throwing rocks in the water. I defiantly didn't need the whole Frodo/Boromir thing to happen just then. My wishes never come true.  
  
"Where's Frodo?" I heard Merry ask throwing down some firewood. I didn't think I had ever seen an entire camp clear out more quickly.  
  
Lisa and Courtney ran off after Boromir and everyone else, who knows. I was left standing there. I guess my fate had been decided.  
  
"Well Laura," I muttered to myself, "hi-ho, hi-ho it's off to Mordor I go." And I sat down on the ground and ate the food on the fire.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********  
  
Hi, I'm Courtney. I'm taking over for right now. And I was busy, running (quite good actually) to save Boromir with Lisa.  
  
I grabbed Lisa's shoulder. "We have to find the lead Uruk-Hai guy."  
  
"Well," she said sarcastically, "that shouldn't be too hard. You know, except for the fact that, they all look alike!"  
  
"Just," I searched my mind, "keep a look out." I turned around to see Uruk- Hai pour over a hill. "Lisa." I turned back around to see that she wasn't there. "Where the hell did she go?"  
  
I ran around trying to figure out where Boromir was when I heard a clashing of swords over the hill. I ran toward the fighting. Something I would have never done at home. I saw Boromir and Lisa fighting. Her back seemed to bulge out. I ignored it. I saw a tree and climbed up it. Before you start asking why, I did it to kill Lurtz. I was going to drop on him and chop off his head. It sounded simple enough.  
  
He came over the top of the hill, drawing ever closer to my tree. Five.four.three.two.one.  
  
"Hell no!" I yelled as I dropped on him and drove my sword through his chest. One slight problem, I was surrounded by the enemy.  
  
"Oh shit." I muttered.  
  
One saw me then took his sword against mine. I chopped off his arm and he fell back. The fight was on! I was kicking total ass! Okay, I did get nicked a couple of times, but still. I chopped, swung, drove, hah! Saruman could kick my ass? Finally after what seemed to be forever, they stopped coming over the hill.  
  
"Boromir?" I called.  
  
"Yes Courtney. Thank you." He said gasping for air.  
  
"Lisa?" I yelled, but no answer came.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********  
  
Yup, Lisa here. And I didn't kick ass. I fought my little heart out, but the Uruk-Hai got me. They captured me along with Merry and Pippin; we're prisoners now.  
  
I felt sorry for blowing off Laura. I was a little frustrated. I hope she knew that. I hoped she knew that I loved her. I hoped Boromir and Courtney and everyone was still alive. They were all hopes. Sadly, no one in the damned place knew how to do that. But wishing I was good at. And crazy as it seemed, I wished I was home eating stove-top stuffing.  
  
**************************************************************************** ********  
  
Laura again, still on the shore.  
  
"Frodo." I called as he broke through the trees.  
  
"Laura!" he sounded surprised. "I'm going to Mordor," he brushed past me, "alone."  
  
"Whoa, whoa, whoa." I said. "So am I."  
  
Just then Samwise broke the tree line. "I made a promise, Mr. Frodo, a promise." He fell silent when he saw me. I laughed.  
  
"You're going to Mordor alone, and we're coming with you." I said. I grabbed the boat. "Get in you two."  
  
"Laura," Frodo said, "I am very close to being angry with."  
  
"No worries." I said forcing a smile.  
  
We got in the boat and went across the river. I looked at the other shore, not knowing if I'd ever see Lisa or Courtney again.  
  
"We'll meet again, another time, another place my dear." I whispered to myself tearing up.  
  
I didn't want to die. I didn't want to die. But somewhere deep inside told me that I had to be brave.  
  
"Well," I said out loud, "time to make the other bastards die for their country." 


	9. The Towers: Chapter 1

Author's note: This is the second book called The Towers, therefore it is chapter 1!  
  
Chapter 1-Courtney  
  
"Lisa?" I yelled, but no answer came.  
  
My name is Courtney Tutshill. I was brought into an alternate universe by Lisa. I wanted to go home, but Middle Earth was growing on me.  
  
"Lisa!" I tried again. I spun around. Lisa, Merry, and Pippin were no where in sight. "No." I whispered as the truth began to dawn on me. "Laura!" I yelled. I turned and ran to the river.  
  
There was an Eleven-boat on the other shore. Frodo, Laura, or Sam were no where to be seen. I was alone. I was alone, all my friends were gone.  
  
"Hurry, they have reached the Eastern Shore!" Legolas cried breaking the tree line. Aragorn, Boromir, Gandalf, and Gimli were soon after him, but in no hurry.  
  
"No," Aragorn said, "Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands."  
  
"Well," Gandalf stated, "it seems as if all our hopes now lay with two hobbits and one girl, somewhere in the wilderness."  
  
"Then it has all been in vain, the Fellowship has failed." Gimli replied.  
  
"That is not true," Aragorn said smiling. "As long as we hold true to each other. Let us not abandon Lisa, Merry, and Pippin to torment to death."  
  
"What about Laura?" I asked.  
  
"You need not worry about your friend, Courtney. She is strong, and so are Frodo and Sam. They are all in good hands." Somehow, in saying that, all the things that had happened between Aragorn and us were beginning to mend.  
  
I knew that was true of course. She was strong. She was our leader, well, our unofficial leader. I don't think she knew that. Lisa was the comedian. I still didn't know what I was.  
  
"Aragorn, I have no arrows. I must go and get some." Legolas announced.  
  
"I'll help." I said quickly with Boromir quickly behind me. I gave him a sideways look, wondering what he was up to.  
  
Us three quickly went to work. We picked the arrows out of the dead Uruk- Hai. I had a pretty good count when I came across Lurtz. I don't know what went through me right then, but I took out my ax that had never been used and began chopping madly at him.  
  
"Son of a bitch! You're an ass! Your kind took my best friend! You got me in this damned situation!"  
  
"Courtney!" Boromir grabbed my shoulder and pulled me away. I looked at his face, then back down at Lurtz. There was hardly anything left of him. That's when I cried. Boromir put his hand on my shoulder. Guys aren't really the hugging type.  
  
"I know it is hard for you Courtney." He said quietly. "Your friends are gone, one a prisoner, one to death. You must also know that you have my friendship. I saw the Uruk-Hai come over top of that hill and saw him take aim.he would have.thank you."  
  
I looked at him wishing I could tell him the truth. "Don't worry about it Boromir." It was all I could manage.  
  
"Lady Courtney!" Legolas cried leaping over the hill with his bow drawn.  
  
"All is fine, Legolas." Boromir said.  
  
I picked up the arrows I had dropped on the ground. "Here." I handed them to Legolas.  
  
"So, uh, I guess we're going after Lisa, Merry, and Pippin, huh?" I asked as we headed back to the shore.  
  
"Yes." Legolas said.  
  
"How long do you think it'll take?" I questioned.  
  
"Long, I suppose. Aragorn is a Ranger, though. He's tracked many things through the wilderness." Boromir replied.  
  
"You guys aren't much for conversation, are ya?" I asked.  
  
"Why do you ask so many questions?" was Legolas's answer.  
  
I bet Laura would have kept her mouth shut. Lisa might have said a smart remark. I wasn't them though.  
  
"Well if you would just talk." I said.  
  
This is how you can tell the difference between elves and men. Legolas's eyes widened and his hands went for his weapon then withdrew in response to my remark. Boromir just laughed.  
  
"Boromir!" Legolas cried. "You would take this from a mere child let alone a woman?"  
  
"Well Legolas, it is awfully silent at times." Boromir responded.  
  
"You know Legolas, I always wondered why you hated us." I said.  
  
"Hate you? No, you are mistaken. Dislike you of course. You speak out of turn, disrespect, and arrogance, not to mention coming out of no where to a secret council. It is very curious!"  
  
We broke the tree line however only Aragorn and Gimli were there.  
  
"Where is Gandalf?" Boromir asked.  
  
"He had business to attend to." Aragorn answered.  
  
"Umm, I don't mean to 'speak out of turn'," I shot Legolas a look, "but isn't this business more important? I mean the fate of Middle Earth and all."  
  
None of them answered. "Isn't that something." I muttered.  
  
"Merry and Pippin's packs are still here. Lisa's isn't." Aragorn shot me a look.  
  
Lisa was wearing her pack? I tried to remember. Wait, yes, she was. Lisa must have run back to camp grabbed her things and put her cloak over top of it. No wonder her back looked big.  
  
"However," Aragorn continued, "Merry and Pippin's packs are half gone. Frodo, Laura, and Sam must have taken it. We can fit the rest into one pack and take it."  
  
"I will." I volunteered. I had to show them I could carry my own weight.  
  
As I went to work Aragorn continued. "We will hide the boats and continue on foot. Hopefully we will catch up to them within a week."  
  
I put the empty pack into the other one. We may need it again. Gimli and Aragorn hid the boats. Boromir and Legolas made our camp look as if we had never been there.  
  
Finally we set out. Them to save their friends, me to get my life back. Well, okay, and to save my friend. 


	10. The Towers: Chapter 2

Chapter 2-Lisa  
  
My name is Lisa.  
  
Just Lisa. I can't tell you where I live. Or what my last name is. They might find me.  
  
Okay, so they already found me. And if I told you my last name, well it wouldn't really matter because, let's face it, there is no Internet in Middle Earth. Right then I was a prisoner. But I had a plan.  
  
Okay, it was a pretty dumb plan. But, hey, these Uruk-Hai guys couldn't be too smart.  
  
Could they?  
  
My plan was to manipulate the Uruk-Hai into thinking I was on their side. Make them think I killed Merry and Pippin so that they could 'spoil' them. As long as Merry and Pippin cooperated, we'd be home free by midnight. Hah! I didn't need Laura's brains. I didn't need Courtney. Sadly, if they were there, they probably would have seen my fatal flaw.  
  
You see, if my plan did succeed Merry and Pippin would have to continue to play dead. If they stopped we would be out numbered a gazillion to one.  
  
Good thing I hadn't thought of that because I would have been scared shitless to even continue on with the plan.  
  
I was brutally thrown to the ground. Then they kicked me for good measures. I groaned. I had been getting kicked way too much lately. I had bruises everywhere. But one question had been running through my mind though. Why had they taken me?  
  
There was no way to mistake me for a hobbit. I was too tall. I had boots on my feet.  
  
"Why do we continue to carry these foul things?" an Uruk-Hai complained. "Let's just spoil them and eat them." He took out his sword.  
  
Target. He wanted something out of this whole thing. He would at least listen to my 'defect'.  
  
"No. Saruman wants these Halflings alive and unspoiled."  
  
"What about this bigger one? Why waste our energy on her?" a small Uruk-Hai questioned.  
  
I took a deep breath waiting to hear the answer 'food'.  
  
"Saruman says three women youths hold the key to another universe."  
  
"And how would you know that?" the small one asked.  
  
I was in shock. Courtney, Laura, and I could let Saruman get out of this universe? Shit! And I was going toward him? I didn't think so. Even though our world was pretty messed up, I didn't want to condemn it to that. My plan needed to go into action tonight. So that meant I had to explain everything to Merry and Pippin. I scooted five feet across the ground to get to them.  
  
Merry had a huge gash above his eyebrow. Pippin looked like a train wreck. We all had been through a lot. I felt sorry for them more than I did for myself. They could have been back in the Shire.  
  
No. No they couldn't have. Saruman was destroying everything. The Shire would be destroyed. "Merry, Pippin." I said. They turned to look at me. "Lisa's plan number one is being called into action."  
  
I told them of my plan. They nodded in agreement. They thought it could work. I hoped it would work. It had to work.  
  
"Hey, you!" I called to the Uruk-Hai I had targeted out earlier. He looked at me. "Yeah, you."  
  
"What do you want, you stinking piece of flesh."  
  
"I'm here to offer you a way to rule over Saruman. That's right! All of Middle Earth is yours for just a small price of.getting me out of theses bonds." I said in my best salesperson voice.  
  
"How can I trust your word, human?"  
  
I smiled. "I'll kill them. For you to eat." I pointed at Merry and Pippin who were pretending to sleep.  
  
He shook his head in agreement. HA! Sucker! He was totally buying it! Finally! TV was coming in handy!  
  
The Uruk-Hai undid my bonds and kicked Merry and Pippin 'awake'. "Get up Halflings!" he yelled. They quickly stood up doing a pretty good job of looking scared. I was handed my sword and stepped in front of Merry. He looked like he was going to pass out. I was about to mutter 'It's okay' to him when I noticed that he wasn't looking at me. He was looking behind me.  
  
I looked behind me and noticed all of the Uruk-Hai watching my act.  
  
"Oh shit." I mumbled. How was I going to escape if every one of those last guys were watching me?  
  
"Get on with it!" one yelled.  
  
The watch! Laura's watch I stole from her! I could use that! "Have no fear.umm.my.Uruk-Hai."  
  
I stood in front of Merry who had his arms by his sides. I took the sword back and just as I drove it toward him he yelled:  
  
"You."  
  
He didn't have time to finish because I drove the sword between his arm and upper body. I didn't really stab him. But, boy, did Merry know how to act.  
  
A roar echoed around me.  
  
"Hey!" I yelled. "I need total silence! No eating until both are dead!"  
  
Did they notice? Did they notice Merry wasn't really dead? I hoped not.  
  
I moved in front of Pippin. I pulled back my sword and drove it between his arm and his upper body. Only, this time, I wasn't so accurate. I nicked his arm.  
  
"You drew blood." He said.  
  
"Of course I drew blood. I'm killing you." I replied trying to keep up my act.  
  
"That wasn't part of the plan!" he yelled.  
  
"What plan?" I questioned frantically.  
  
Another roar erupted from the Uruk-Hai. Only this time, it didn't sound all too encouraging.  
  
"You dirty, rotten cheat!" The Uruk-Hai yelled.  
  
"Kill them!" another yelled.  
  
"No! Please! I can explain." I yelled.  
  
But they weren't having it. They pulled out their swords and growled. Hell, they probably said a curse in another language. Then they started to come toward us.  
  
"What do we do?" Merry yelled while getting up.  
  
"Lisa's plan number two is being called into action!" I said still holding my sword.  
  
"And what would that be?" Pippin asked.  
  
"RUN!" I screamed.  
  
That's when arrows started to pour down like rain.  
  
Flit! Flit! Flit!  
  
"Shit!" I screamed. "The freaking Rohirrim!"  
  
"The who?" Merry questioned.  
  
"The good.never mind! I didn't even understand who they were in the book! Just run!" I cried.  
  
"What book!" Pippin yelled.  
  
"Lord of the.damn!" I said. I had just given away our biggest secret.  
  
We ran. And as we ran Uruk-Hai were dropping like flies. Arrows piercing skulls and chests. Blood was going everywhere.  
  
But I didn't notice. We ran until our feet could go no further, and by that time we were deep in Fangorn Forest. 


	11. The Towers: Chapter 3

Chapter 3-Laura  
  
I hoped Courtney and Lisa were having a better time than I was. I never thought I could be so bored in my entire life.  
  
"We're in a fix Mr. Frodo, no mistake about that." Sam said.  
  
"Well then I won't." I said.  
  
"I know Sam. I'm sorry." Frodo said ignoring me.  
  
"Fine," I muttered, "ignore me for all I care."  
  
"Did you say something Laura?" Frodo asked.  
  
"Me? Of course not! I'm just mumbling to myself. As you were good fellows." I cheerfully said.  
  
"How can you be so cheerful at a time like this?" Frodo asked.  
  
To that I had no answer.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
  
No one kept watch that night. There was no real need, we were in no- man's land. We hadn't seen anybody all day.  
  
I didn't sleep. I had my headphones plugged in and was listening to Vanessa Carlton. It had some pretty good songs, but every song reminded me of home. I stopped the music and took the headphones out of my ears. Silence seemed to engulf the area around me.  
  
Key word: seemed.  
  
"My precioussss." A voice came from the background. "They sstole it from usss. Filthy hobitsesss."  
  
"Oh shit." I muttered.  
  
I grabbed the hilt of my sword. I crawled over and shook Sam awake. He was startled but I kept my hand over his mouth. I bent down so that I could whisper to him.  
  
"Get your sword ready. Gollum's here." I whispered. Sam nodded. "On the count of three. One. Two. Three!"  
  
Sam and I lunged at the small object on the rock face. I drove my sword at Gollum. It hit rock. I saw him to my right. I charged and hit the dirt.  
  
"Geez this shrimp can move!" I yelled to no one in particular.  
  
Suddenly I heard a roar of pain from Sam. I heard another shuffling of bodies then head Frodo yell:  
  
"Sam!"  
  
They both were wrestling Gollum to the ground. Actually, I should say, they were trying to wrestle Gollum to the ground. Gollum had more experience, which was his edge. But I knew my edge. My edge was surprise.  
  
As Gollum was on top of Sam, I came and nicked his arm. He jumped to the ground and twirled to look at me. He prepared to jump when I said:  
  
"Stop it already Smeagal. You aren't going to get the ring."  
  
He looked taken back. "You called uss what?"  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Smeagol. That's your name."  
  
He nodded and said, "Yess, it iss. My name. Smeagol."  
  
I turned around and picked my pack up and put it on my back. "Leave him." I said, then winced. I was sounding too much like Aragorn. Too much like.like.like.  
  
Like a leader.  
  
I felt like a rock had just hit me. That's how Courtney and Lisa saw me. That's why Lisa had a mental blowup. That's why Courtney had asked me what to do. I was never like this before, not in the real world. When did I become like this?  
  
"He can't be trusted!" Sam argued. I had obviously come in, in the middle of a conversation. "We should kill him!"  
  
"We have to trust him Sam." Frodo said. "I have to trust him.  
  
I was half tempted to say 'Yes, yes! Kill him!' but I kept my mouth shut. I didn't say that because we needed him to get us to Mordor.  
  
"You're right Sam, he can't be trusted." I turned towards Frodo. "You're right too. We can't kill him."  
  
All the while Smeagol watched as his fate was being decided. "We be nice to you, if you be nice to uss."  
  
"You need to lead us to Mordor." I said sternly. He whimpered in return.  
  
"We can find a way ourselves." Sam argued.  
  
"No, we can't Samwise Gamgee. He's been to Mordor; he will lead us there again. That is, if he likes his head. I don't know if you noticed, but we're lost. And I left my map of Mordor in the last truck stop."  
  
He looked taken back, then confused. I understood why. When it finally sunk in I gasped for air. I had just used the term 'truck stop'. They didn't know what a truck stop was! Sam eyed me then Gollum then said:  
  
"I'll do whatever Mr. Frodo wants."  
  
Frodo looked at Sam, then to me, then to Gollum. He walked up to him. "Smeagal is your name and you have been to the Black Gate of Mordor before. Lead us there again."  
  
We started towards Mordor and no one was happy about it. Everyone had a frown on his or her face. I watched Sam most of all. He was in deep thought but at the same time never took his eyes off Smeagal.  
  
That's how it went, until dawn came.  
  
"We stops so that they don't see uss." Smeagol said. "Less chance of getting caught that way Hobbitses."  
  
He had been ignoring me. Why he was, I had no idea. It was fine by me though. Personally I think it's what I said to him, or maybe he held grudges against people who try and kill them.  
  
The day progressed and Frodo slept most of it away. It was just Sam and me. Smeagol insisted that he go, well, we didn't really know where he went.  
  
"Sam." I said starting a conversation.  
  
"Yes Laura?" he replied continually scanning the horizon.  
  
"About earlier.I should apologize. I didn't mean to snap at you." I stated.  
  
"There's no need to apologize. We have been a little stressed lately."  
  
"Me a little more so." I muttered. Apparently I didn't say it softly enough.  
  
"How so?"  
  
I stalled, not knowing how to answer the question. "Sam, have you ever had to keep a secret because if you didn't it could lead to your death, or, at least, that's what you think?"  
  
He stared at me, then laughed a small, sad laugh. "Let me guess, hypothetically, you, your sister, and Courtney aren't from Middle Earth."  
  
"Hypothetically, yes."  
  
"Then, no."  
  
"Sam, are you suspicious of me? Especially ever since last night?"  
  
"Well, yes. You did say some things that confused me, but I thought they were just Gondorian terms."  
  
"You think I'm from Gondor?"  
  
"Yes. No offense, but Gondorians tend to do weird things."  
  
I chuckled. "I'm not from Gondor."  
  
"Then where are you from?"  
  
"You know that hypothetical secret? And your hypothetical answer? Well, it's true."  
  
"What's true? You aren't from Middle Earth? That's impossible."  
  
"I know it is, but I'm here and I'm not from Middle Earth."  
  
Frodo decided to wake up right then. "You're not from what?"  
  
"I'M NOT FROM MIDDLE EARTH!" 


	12. The Towers: Chapter 4

Chapter 4-Courtney  
  
"I'M NOT FROM MIDDLE EARTH!" I yelled. I could no longer keep the secret. I could no longer keep it inside.  
  
Of course, it wasn't really my fault. They did keep inquiring where I was from. I couldn't say Gondor because of Boromir and Aragorn knew every other place in Middle Earth.  
  
"What do you mean?" Gimli questioned.  
  
"I mean, that I'm not even from here. I'm from an alternate universe! I was brought here through a friggin' portal that someone opened when Lisa said 'I think Lord of the Rings really happened'!" I spat out.  
  
The only person that seemed unmoved by my little sha-bang was Boromir. Somehow that didn't surprise me. I waited for my dying blow from Aragorn, it didn't happen. I waited for the remark from Gimli. I waited for the stare from Legolas. I waited for the embrace of pity that never happened.  
  
"Well, that explains much." Legolas said.  
  
"It explains coming in during a secret council." Aragorn stated.  
  
"We are never going to live that down, are we?" I asked half laughing.  
  
"No, Lady Courtney, I don't believe so." Legolas said.  
  
"Legolas, please, just call me Courtney." I stated.  
  
Once again we kept shifts that night, Everybody went to sleep with the tension relieved. I had a shift with Boromir.  
  
"Hey Boromir." I whispered.  
  
"Hello."  
  
"Can I ask you a question?"  
  
"I don't see why you can't."  
  
"You don't believe what I said earlier, do you? I mean about me not coming from Middle Earth."  
  
"It is hard to believe. All my life Middle Earth was the only place I knew about. It's hard to turn against something you've believed in all your life. I'm sure the others feel the same way."  
  
"Yeah, I probably sound like I've had one too many pipes and pints. But I hear you. I defiantly didn't ever think that a book could ever become a reality."  
  
"Book?" he asked.  
  
Well, can I say shit.  
  
"I didn't mean that. I meant that I'm going to turn this into a book called Lord of the Rings."  
  
He smiled and said, "You don't lie very well, do you?"  
  
I threw up my hands. "Why is it that I can't lie?" Boromir didn't answer my question. He was waiting for a different thing. "Okay, this is all a book. This is a book called Lord of the Rings. I knew what was going to happen. Gandalf was supposed to fall in Moria and you were supposed to.to.you were supposed to."  
  
"I was supposed to die." he finished for me. I nodded. "Well I am eternally in your debt."  
  
"No, don't say that. I don't think everything is going to work out for the better." I said.  
  
"What?"  
  
Just then a large rumble form overhead sounded. Rain started to pour down the sky. Aragorn, Gimli, and Legolas woke up.  
  
"Great." I muttered. But still my mind wandered back to what I said to Boromir. What had I meant? Why did I say what I said? Laura and Lisa were going to kill me.  
  
But they weren't here, They could be dead. Laura could be worse then dead. She could be in the hands of the enemy.  
  
It was a wet rest of the night. After being in Middle Earth that long you would think I would be used to the rain. News flash, I'm not a duck. The rain stopped by the morning. That was good until I heard a stupid idea.  
  
"Riders of the Mark!" Aragorn yelled. "What news from Edoras?"  
  
A whole army of Rohirrim rode toward us. On horses. Each armed with weapons. Straight at us.  
  
"Well, this wasn't the brightest idea, was it?" I muttered.  
  
"No, lass, I don't believe so." Gimli replied.  
  
They surrounded us. The Rohirrim, I mean. One jumped off his horse and walked towards us. I took one wild guess at who he was.  
  
Eomer.  
  
"What business does such a group have in the Riddermark?" he questioned.  
  
"I am Aragorn son of Arathorn. This is Boromir of Gondor, Gimli son of Gloin, Legolas of the Woodland Realm, and Courtney of.a distant country." Aragorn stated.  
  
Eomer walked up to me. "What country would that be, my lady?"  
  
"Where I come from is none of your concern."  
  
"Aragorn, you would learn well to teach this woman some manners."  
  
"Manners!" I yelled. "Why you son of a."  
  
"Lord Eomer." Legolas cut in, "we are in search of two hobbits that were captured by the Uruk-Hai."  
  
"And my friend." I spat out.  
  
"The hobbits would only look like children to you." Aragorn said.  
  
"We slaughtered the Uruks and burned their bodies in the night. We left none alive." Eomer said eyeing the horizon.  
  
All five of us looked where Eomer was looking in the distance. Smoke rolled up from an unseen source.  
  
The Rohirrim rode off and left us four horses. I couldn't remember how many horses they had left them the book, but I was pretty sure that it wasn't four. I was glad though; I got my own horse. There was only one problem.  
  
I had never ridden before.  
  
Boromir helped me on the horse. I had seen that much be done. I was interrupted by Aragorn.  
  
"You do not ride side saddle?" he asked.  
  
"Nope. This is how I do it. Well, not me, but all the women. This is all I know how to do, though. I've never ridden before." I said.  
  
"Perhaps I should ride with you?" Boromir asked.  
  
"No! I'm good. I'm a quick learner!" I lied. I took up the reins. "You just go, Gee up!" I did the thing they do in the movies with the reins. The horse didn't move. I sighed.  
  
Legolas said something in Elvish, and the horses trotted forward. After many times in failing, I finally caught on. Who knew that you couldn't just sit on the horses back?  
  
We reached the pile of burning corpses that was on the edge of Fangorn. Gimli dug through it and, disgusting as it mat seem, so did I. I had to know if Lisa was alive or not. Out of the corner of my eye Legolas was saying a prayer, Boromir scanned the horizon. I couldn't see Aragorn. That's when I found Lisa's pack. It was half burned.  
  
"No!" I yelled. "Lisa!" I began to cry.  
  
"Courtney!" Aragorn yelled. "Come here!"  
  
I walked over to him. He was at the edge of the forest. He pointed at something on the ground. I looked at it. It was Lisa's hat. I picked it up.  
  
"Why was she here?" I asked Aragorn.  
  
"You mean why were they running into Fangorn." he replied.  
  
"You had better have something to say Aragorn." I said through gritted teeth.  
  
"Boromir! Gimli! Legolas! Come here!" Aragorn motioned for them to come. "Foot steps of two hobbits ran into the forest. So did a pair of boots. It leads away from the battle."  
  
"Fangorn? What madness drove them in there?" Gimli asked.  
  
"Who cares? Let's go! What the hell are we waiting for?" I cried running into the forest. All of them were right behind me. It made me feel important. For once they trusted me. Or, maybe, it was the other way around. Maybe I trusted them.  
  
We ran deep into the forest desperately looking for Lisa, Merry, and Pippin. Finally I couldn't stand running anymore, I stopped to take a 'breather', as Gimli called them.  
  
"These woods are old." Legolas said. "They are full of memory.and anger."  
  
"What was your first clue? The moaning in the trees? Really, Legolas, we can tell theses things ourselves, stop stating the obvious." I turned to Gimli. "Dude, put down the ax!" He lowered it and Legolas bounded to a tree, listening.  
  
He said something to Aragorn and Aragorn went up to him. They went deep into conversation, in Elvish.  
  
"That really gets on my nerves when they do that." I said to Boromir and Gimli.  
  
"You said it, lass. Though Legolas is my friend, it certainly does get to you when you cannot understand him." Gimli said. Boromir laughed and nodded his head. Suddenly Aragorn turned around to address us.  
  
"They say the White Wizard walks through these woods, and we are about to stumble upon him. Have your weapons drawn and do not let him utter a word for he will put a curse on us."  
  
I pulled out my sword. I was most comfortable with that. I had been through two battles with it. Suddenly a bright white engulfed the woods and I dropped my sword to eyes. Aragorn's sword handle grew hot and so did Boromir's. Gimli's ax got deflected and so did Legolas's bow.  
  
"You are looking for two hobbits and a young girl. They passed this way, yes. They are now under the protection of a Tree-herder, Treebeard." a voice said from the light. It sounded familiar.  
  
"Gandalf?" I asked in disbelief.  
  
"Gandalf?" he asked himself. "Yes, yes. That is my name. However, I am Gandalf the White."  
  
He had still changed even though he didn't fall in Moria. I knew that should have sparked something in my head, but it didn't. Gandalf went on to explain that ever since we came out of Moria, he felt something was disturbed. Somehow some high power made him White, and not Grey. All in all, this took one hour.  
  
"Well, I'm speechless." I said. "Unlike yourself, apparently."  
  
"We should move quickly. Saruman's power is growing and we must ride to Edoras. Gandalf began to walk out of the forest. Everyone was silent except me.  
  
"What about Lisa, Merry, and Pippin? What about Sauron? Why Edoras?"  
  
"Courtney, it would be good to keep your mouth shut. You're very presence here is dangerous." Gandalf stated.  
  
He knew about us, and I never even told him. He knew something else tool he just wasn't telling me. After Gandalf called Shadowfax, we were off to Edoras.  
  
"What's going to happen, Gandalf?" I questioned after an hours worth of riding.  
  
"I believe you know." he stated.  
  
"Why do you ask, Courtney?" Boromir asked all too loudly. "You already know--"  
  
I rammed my horse into his.  
  
"Is everything all right, Courtney?" Aragorn asked skeptically.  
  
"Damn dead deer in the road!" I lied.  
  
"What deer?" Legolas inquired.  
  
"It must have run off." I said lamely.  
  
Tensions high, we managed to ride to Edoras. That's when things took a definite turn for the worse.  
  
"What do you mean I have to give up my sword?!" I yelled at the guard at the door. "Listen, once you've been through what I've been through, giving up your sword isn't really an option!"  
  
We were at the door of the Golden Hall where Theoden was being kept. Then very suddenly Aragorn grabbed my sword out of my hilt and placed it in the pile where I already had my ax. Afterwards, I was in a pretty crappy mood. When we were in the hall, Gandalf released Theoden from Saruman's hold. Then Theoden learned his son was dead and went to his grave. That's when he learned of Saruman's move against him. By the way, that was the SHORT version of it.  
  
"You must act against Saruman!" Gandalf said as soon as we got rid of Wormtongue.  
  
"I cannot let my people be massacred by the Uruk-Hai. I will not lead them to war." Theoden refuted.  
  
I had been silent and it seemed to me that for the past hour the same things had been said in different forms.  
  
"Saruman's wrath has washed through your lands." Aragorn stated.  
  
I muttered, "Here we go again." Apparently it wasn't soft enough.  
  
"What was that child?" Theoden asked making my age very noticeable.  
  
I stood up unafraid of what could happen. This was my moment. My moment for everything. If it had been a movie, there would have been music.  
  
"I've listened to you all bitch enough. You are so thick, it's not even funny! How blind are you? You have all of Isengard coming at you and we're still sitting here saying 'should we or shouldn't we'? For crying out loud, DO SOMETHING! I'm not about to die for someone else's ignorance!"  
  
Theoden stood up and said, "Sit, and be silent. You have no knowledge in what you are--"  
  
"NO! I am tired of sitting her and saying 'Sir, yes, sir'! I don't give a damn whether you like me or not! You will fight."  
  
"Fight just for death?" Theoden asked.  
  
"FOR THE FUCKIN' FATE OF MIDDLE EARTH! PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR ASS!"  
  
Silence filled the room and slowly but surely the truth came to King Theoden.  
  
"We will march to Helms Deep." Theoden said quietly. "Somehow you convinced me, but how I do not know."  
  
Boromir smiled slyly and said, "Perhaps it is the knowledge you claim she does not have." 


End file.
